Five-Minute-Friday ~ 31 Day Challenge for October ~ Belong

Please excuse my late entries.

I was blessed to have my son and his family visiting for 3 days.

Today's prompt was "Belong."

Five-minutes-GO

Another prompt that crept down to my core.

It took a long time before I felt comfortable about belonging anywhere. The sexual abuse I had endured caused me to change directions. No longer did I thought I belonged in 4-H, dance, our church, even my home.

 I just didn't know where I belonged.

Then I really met Jesus!

He saved me when I was traveling a road I thought I needed to take.

Everyone else was going in that direction, and I thought it was where I belonged.

When I realized only me and God were going to save me, I found I had a strength I never knew I had. I learned that, yes, your life flashes before your eyes. The whole way down, I remember repeatedly saying...

"Oh my God! Oh my God!"

As the car rolled, resembling the feeling of being on the Zipper. Then it felt like the car finally stopped, I thanked Him with all my heart! Now, what do/" I do?
But then we began to fall again. This time it wasn't like a rock rolling downhill, bumping and bouncing, or jerking when we were shot in a different direction.
It was like a free fall. 

"Oh, GOD!"

I remember it was a brief descent before we hit bottom. 

"Oh my God, Oh my God!"

Just kept going through my head and I believe out of my mouth, but I can't say for sure. I was so shocked we all were alive! The two other passengers were moaning in pain. We were at the bottom of the ravine, no one knew we had gone over the cliff, they wouldn't find us till daylight! We didn't know if our injuries were life threating. 
Who knows if we would be found alive.

I DO NOT BELONG HERE!

STOP!

This post is also part of the 31-Day of Five Minute Free Writes challenge link-up.  

Today's writing prompt was "Belong."

For more information on the challenge click here.

Five-Minute-Friday ~ 31 Day Challenge for October ~ FMF

After four days of prompts that tested me to my core, here comes "Share."

 I haven't done an FMF since August of last year.

I stepped away after the prompt "Try."

A lot was going on back then. I'll try to get back to that "why" eventually, but for now, I'll concentrate on today's prompt first.

One thing I have learned through all this, take each step carefully!

I returned because the 31 Day Free Writing Challenge, well, challenged me.

Writing my "Story," being "Afraid," to "Believe" in myself, and to see "Why." sharing my story seems to come in spurts. I get to a certain point, and I run with my tail between my legs. Sharing it this way, well, it scares me! 

But God keeps tugging at me to write, to share, to help!

It's happened before.

Ready-Set-Go...

I peeled off a layer of this onion, and someone complained. 

Which leads me to withdraw like I've done something wrong. Which then takes time, through my extraordinary resources, to brings me back up to where I see Gods love again. This tug-of-war is never a game. It's "why" I keep those bible studies by my bedside. I go to sleep reminded of the love and joy, the hurt and healing, on those pages. All done along with Him and his words. Encouraging me to share my words so others can maybe find them, helping them get where they are going.

If it wasn't for the stories in the Bible, shared by ordinary people, about their journey, and how God was there with them, I know for sure, I would not be where I am!

I will always be that onion.

However, instead of being peeled, sliced or diced. Served raw, tossed in a salad or cut into rings becoming just another onion ring, frying in the hot oil. I want to be a whole onion, cut perfectly, dunked in the coating of Gods love, as I'm lowered into the hot oil, and like Daniel, I come out a "blooming onion!"

Funny thing is, I'm not a fan of all onion rings. I'm picky. I don't like them thick. I do like their coating though. Especially when they are super crispy. But that "blooming onion," though I have never eaten one all of my own, I have taken a slice of a few. It's a single wedge of all the layers of the onion. No one had to peel them or separate them, they stayed in tack, all together. So as you look at the flower the onion looks like, it represents us. A group of people, together for a purpose, all with our own stories, waiting to be shared with others.

"Blooming Onions" are meant to be shared!

Stop.

This post is also part of the 31-Day of Five Minute Free Writes challenge link-up.  

Today's writing prompt was "Share."

For more information on the challenge click here.

Five-Minute-Friday ~ 31 Day Challenge for October ~ Why

Good prompt!

Why do I believe in God?

From a young age, I was taught a faith that would grow strong within me.

Even when the church protected my abuser,

I went to other churches to find safety for my soul.

I didn't know then what I searching for.

I was just a young girl trying to figure out

why my world was different from others.

Why?

When my 'why' went unnurtured, it was blanketed by a doubt.

That doubt drove me to places a young girl shouldn't have gone.

For a few years, I drowned myself with those waves of uncertainty.

Why would I become this person who at a time knew where she wanted to go.

Had God not been my true father, one I could go to when there was no one else,

I wouldn't be where I am today.

Why wouldn't a confused, yet driven young girl turn to Him

when she was over her head.

Because He loved me more then I loved myself at that time.

The words I heard from His side were stronger than the words coming from those who didn't want the truth to be told.

They were trying to tear me down,

while at the same time God was building me up.

Why did it take the birth of my own daughter to pledge to Him,

she will NEVER go through what I had.

Why?

Because now, I can see what His love grows!

This post is part of the 31-Day of Five Minute Free Writes challenge link-up.  

Today's writing prompt was "Why."

For more information on the challenge click here.

Five-Minute-Friday ~ 31 Day Challenge for October ~ Believe

There is a reason God has opened up this door again!

To believe anything else doesn't even cross my mind.

Believing in myself, that's a different story.

Believing in Him has always been a part of my life, 

no matter what I was going through.

Believing in myself,

well, that is something that will always need work, and I have accepted that.

God knows why even when others don't.

Believing in other's, that too comes with a caution.

Our world today makes it hard to believe anything else,

but the word of God, that is my saving grace. 

Believe!

Who!

God!

Boy did I have a hard time with this prompt
.

I just don't know how to write about a topic that I struggle with.
It has nothing to do with my belief if God, that is firm.

It's my belief in myself, in others, and in a world that often reminds me of Babylon.

The Bible contains many stories of followers believing in God, in Jesus.
What affects us now, did affect them in their time.
It was a different world, but the problems are the same.
Those stories were written for the many generations to come, to have the ability to stand firm in their faith, to believe in why God sent His only son, for us!
It's up to us the tell our stories as well for future generations.
Our belief will always overpower Satan.

This was a tough five minutes!


This post is part of the 31-Day of Five Minute Free Writes challenge link-up.  

Today's writing prompt was "Believe." 

For more information on the challenge click here.

Five-Minute-Friday ~ 31 Day Challenge for October ~ Afraid

"What keeps you from sharing your story with other people?"

Me!

My Fear of failing!

Rejection!

Education!

No readers!

I'm no good!

Boring topic!

This is the best cross I could make with the words that keep me from sharing my story. 

I chose the cross to remind me that I am not a failure in His eyes.

I can handle rejection because he had to first. But it still scares me.

I may not have a degree, but that doesn't mean I am uneducated!

No readers? I have readers. What I don't get is comments. 

That might be a good thing since some comments can be cruel.

I may not be great at it, but I am good at some of it.

If it's boring, no one has ever said so, so that is good.

When I read the Book of Daniel along with Beth Moore's study, I fell in love with Daniel. He grabbed my heart and took me to a new level of my understanding of the bible.

Sharing Our Journey Through Life has been easier to share then my story of what got me here. When I first started blogging in 2009, it began as a journal of my journey with IBM. Since I didn't want to focus on all the medical stuff, I decided to focus on our life. When we began going through some tough times, I started to be vague; sometimes I used a sharpened pencil of insults at the ones creating the drama. Then, after a long hiatus, I came back with what is now our journey through life. Same name but with a new look and direction. Finding my joy again in 2012 had me on the upside. Not two years later I was struggling with my inconsistency in writing yet again.

I did write some post of my past but have made most of them private for personal reasons. It's not a pretty picture of a family with faults, unwanted consequences, and held grudges by others. 

But that is the story the publishers wanted. 

I was dealing with the "#Me Too!" ordeal way before it was what it is now. My fear of my story might close a chapter for me, but for others, it will open old wounds long not healed. I can't get their words out of my head sometimes, so the last thing I would want is for my words to haunt others. 

The urge to edit is difficult!

The thoughts that come from the fingers can be profound.

Daniel 10:19

“Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.”

This post is part of the 31-Day of Five Minute Free Writes challenge link-up.  

Today's writing prompt was "AFRAID."  

For more information on the challenge click here.

Five-Minute-Friday ~ 31 Day Challenge for October ~ Story

It's been a while since I've joined in.

But here I go...

“How can you be strategic in the way that you use the power of story, and how can you use your own story for good and for God’s glory?” 

I've missed writing.
I've missed Five-Minute-Friday.

I've missed my Bible Studies.

I've missed gardening. At least the trying since it hasn't been such a success before.

But I did enjoy my mornings out there.

Especially my devotionals during the golden hours of the morning.

"Don't rush," I am told!

"Take it easy."

"It takes time."

God has been right here making sure everything goes as He plans.

It was me who went missing!

I just didn't and at times still don't feel like myself. 

I am so thankful God doesn't miss me, in fact, He waited patiently for me.

He's good at that.

I am beginning to see things are slowly getting back on track.
Keeping up with my Life-365 Days of Life and sharing our Adventures have been good. 

Since school started, so did my grandma days.

In talking with my granddaughter today, After something really simple happened, and the outcome was good, I thanked God, then asked her, "Do you see God moments?"

She answered with, "I see the moments but not so much as a God moment, but it's awesome that it worked out."

I shared how we need to praise him for these little things too.

Just not during our nightly prayers, but during the day as thing happen, or are seen, or received. 

God uses all of us for His glory and in so many different ways.
And boy, am I different!

He has already written our story. 
It's just taking me a while to get it out there.

He plans that we will see it, not that we won't!
The rest is up to me.

When I have worked on writing it, my story, I begin to think it is silly to believe it's worth sharing. I get discouraged. Sometimes I feel like I am so out of my league.
Especially when I read other's stories, and they are told so well.
For reasons, only God knows, I delete more of my writings than I share.
When I finally open my eyes, He's put something in front of me that says, "Click "Here.""

So Here I Am!

Till tomorrow...

Five-Minute-Friday 31 Day Free Writing Challenge