I had a feeling the prompt this week would revolve around...
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I've started this
FMF a number of times since Friday.
I soon realized it was going to be hard, and I mean REALLY hard to write for only 5 minutes!
But here I go...
It's just not on Mother's Day.
I MISS them EVERY day!
I was fortunate to have two wonderful women mother me.
It doesn't matter that it was 15 years ago.
It still feels like yesterday.
To lose them as my daughter gave birth to my first grandson
was not the way I thought this was going to turn out.
That moment became my lifeline.
God took them from their pain and He gave me the JOY of my life!
To become a grandmother without my mothers to talk to, in person, was, has, is and will continue to be some very emotional moments.
Those emotional moments last longer then five minutes.
When my mom knew her time was near, her memories became mine.
She shared so much with me.
She created a memory book I will always cherish.
My Mother-in-Law shared that I was her daughter!
Words that will never be forgotten.
They were both so LOVED!
They both LOVED me so much!
Tears still fall, but the JOY drys them up.
Now it's been my turn.
To be a mom, a grandma, without them.
My mom knew how much it was going hurt.
She grew up without a mom from the age of 7.
She knew!
A mother's comfort.
A mother's touch.
A mother's heart.
Leave many memories.
Loving a mother, being a mother,
ENDLESS.
Stop!
Phew!
Like I said, I had started this a few times, but couldn't get past the tears and the timer buzzing before I could even type a few sentences. I would then go off on other routes to shake the feelings and try again.
During my research on what I could write about, I learned that
Mother's Day began way before President Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation in 1914. It began when
Ana Jarvis mother,
Ana Marie Reeves Jarvis, began the Mothers' Day Work Club back in 1858. I found it to be some very interesting reading but not for a five minute write.
Looking at the family tree with the dates above, my great grandmother's were right there with them beginning their families. My mother's grandmother was born in 1855 and she had her first child, a son, born in 1874
Below is a picture I believe was taken before my grandparents left Nebraska and moved to California. My grandmother, was her last child born in 1898. She had 7 brother's and 2 sisters. She is upfront in white to the left of the gentleman in suspenders. My mother was her only daughter and would be 4 at the time of this picture. She is one of the blonde babies in front of her along with her siblings, My mother had 3 older brothers (1914, 1917, and 1919) and one younger (1923) at the time of this photo. My grandmother had another son (1927) after they moved to California.
These ladies set the example of a Mother for many generations to come.
I vaguely remember my mom's aunts. They visited her often and they were always there for her as she grew up.
Then I explored the path of when my mother became a mother...
My oldest sister has the honor of being her first born, and with her being 14 years old when I was born, she took care of me like a mother. My mom was blessed with 4 daughters and 2 sons. With the birth of each of her children, it must have brought that deep down feeling of missing her mom up. I knew as each of my grandchild came into our lives, I missed mine. How could she not!
I loved it beyond words when it was my turn to be a mother.
To have a daughter changed my world! I had BIG plans for the type of mother I wanted be. For the most part I believe I achieved that goal. Even when two and half years later when I was surprised during an ultrasound that I was having twin, just 2 days before they arrived, didn't leave much time to plan anything, but we survived.
Twenty plus years later, another new mom was entering the club.
My mom's last time being the example for a new mom. My husbands mom, on the left lost her battle with cancer 45 days later. She never got to see the grandson she dreamed about. My mom, on the right, lost her battle 3 days after her great-grandson was born.
We believe she met him on the way to heaven.
As this journey continues, not a day goes by that they are not a part of it by being in my heart and every thought. After all they showed me and taught me everything I would ever need to know about being a mother or grandmother, even from Heaven.
Happy Mother's Day!