Monday, May 2, 2011

Home Again, Home Again, but NO Jiggity Jig!

This Journey is wiping me out! My pain level probably matches my son's, well not exactly, in fact  not at all! I get relief and he gets very little. As a mom, I can bury my pain, but my emotions, seeing my son go through this, it tends to be a different challenge. I have had to step back or remove myself so he doesn't see or feel what all this is doing to me. At times I am not successful and he has addressed it with me. I just tell him it's not about me, it's all about him right now. I AM JUST FINE!

Beside removing ALL the cancer, some much needed bone that will never be there again, and some nerves that control his leg, he has developed a blood infection that they are now battling along with edema that is making it hard for him. Each day has been unpredictable and everyone is rallying around to assure his comfort and meet his needs. Every time he makes progress, something will pop up and set him back.

One thing that would raise his spirits is his children. His X only lives 15 minutes from the hospital. I wish there was a way she could bring them to see him every day for visit or even every other day.

Last Thursday, he was finally going to see the kids again. We were all excited! Then just before their arrival time he had some problems that held up his visiting. While the doctors and nurses were working on him, we were outside the room in the waiting area when down the hall the kids came running up. We had to stop them from going into the room until they were done with him. It took another 30 minutes before he was able to have them come into his room.

Finally he got the much needed hugs and love from his kids...

 Only for them to be riped from his arms after 9 minutes. Yep, she was not happy it was taking so long. It wasn't our sons fault there was a delay, but she just couldn't have any consideration for the situation and began demanding or as the nurses said, raising a stink out in the halls. So to not have a scene in front of the kids, he had to say his goodbyes. His heart just broke, and the emotions were soothed by so many. Everyone came in after to see if he was okay and expressed how wrong she had been.

Ok, that's enough about her. For us, it is all about the kids and they are the ones we concern ourselves with. With God on our side, the lawyers working to fix the mess she created, we have faith things will work out as God has planned for them to. In the meantime we must stay focus on the here and now, to reach the goals ahead that they are a part off. They will be a big part of his recovery and God will provide the opportunity.

So what do I do to keep my focus....

This is the plaque at the beginning of the Healing Garden at the hospital. Since he was in ICU I could see this tree from his window.

People would ask me if I had walked the garden yet and my answer was always, when my son can walk it with me. Well not walk actually. I was waiting for the day I could wheel him through it together. I had hoped it would have been this last weekend but the infection and other complications halted that plan. So to regain some strength, I went down and walked it alone. Hubby asked if I wanted him to come along and I told him, not this time. This is something I need to do myself.

As you walk, the water sounds sooths your soul.

You follow a path created by others who found healing and left behind words of encouragement...

These words are on the tree as you look up under it to the sky.

I spent probably an hour, reading and sitting, reflecting and praying for the path we are on to be guided by God. Everything is in his hands.

By Saturday night they had figured out what drug he had a reaction to that caused a rash from head to toe and even in his mouth. Lasix (spelling?) was administered the day before and was already relieving him of so much of the fluid build up. With the water retention going down, he could once again move his good leg and was able to bend his knee some, got up to a standing position, and did 5 knee bends. As with progress, it causes minor setbacks, but I have faith that these will diminish as he continue to move forward in his recovery. I know he wants it to be weeks, but reality is, it will be much longer then he had thought. 

This just in...

Today he was able to get into a chair and I missed it. If only we had stayed one more day. By no means am I sorry. I am beyond joyful for him and thankful he had the nurse take the picture for us. Wednesday will be 2 weeks and to see him where he is now to where he was then...So Blessed! He is surely getting ready for that next time he gets to see his kids...they will be able to stroll around with daddy.

The power of children and of course prayers. Keep up the good work son!


  1. Good to see him up and in his wheelchair. :)
    You continue to be in my thoughts.

  2. I am so sorry to hear what you all have been going through. I have been way behind on my blog reading. I will certainly be praying for your son and your family. (Even the X, that her heart will be softened)



Related Posts with Thumbnails