31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes Challenge ~ Gift

The word prompt for day two of the 31-Days of Five-Minute Free Writes...Gift.

I thought about writing of the many gifts and talents our lives have been abundantly blessed with, but I've decided to share part of my journey that includes how I received the gift of the Holy Spirit.

It took a bit of time...but He is always patient!

"GO..."

To receive the gift of the Holy Spirit when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior is one of the most beautiful gifts of all. With it comes...

Wisdom. Understanding. Counsel. Fortitude. Knowledge. Piety. Fear of God.

I was raised Catholic, and my early years were filled with love and faith. When I was baptized, the custom was done as infants, so my Godparent stood up for me. They really were the best example of Christianity anyone could ask for. From my First Communion to when the time came for my Confirmation at fourteen, a lot had already happened. I simply went through the motions that were expected of me. I didn't feel any different when the bishop had placed his hand upon my head, praying that I receive the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, or while he made the sign of the cross with chrism oil on my forehead as a sign of strength and a reminder of following Jesus to the cross.

What was wrong with me?

Back then, every time I tried to embrace His words, the world around me would show me differently. I began feeling like the Holy Spirit would never flow through me. Why would Jesus save me? I was unworthy. A daughter of the devil. Soon I stopped going to confession, then to church, and by the time I was becoming a young adult, I found myself in the darkest place. It was a time where God was the furthest from my heart...

"STOP!"

...It was supposed to have been one of the most celebratory times, high school graduation was upcoming, and I was still fighting for my independence. Being it was 1975, and Rock-n-Roll was blasting the Bay Area, saying I had some wild times is an understatement! Some were fun, fun, fun in the sun-times, other times brought nightmares and trauma! Even when we went over the cliff that night, tumbling like a rock down the mountainside, surviving something that only God could have had control over the outcome, shook my soul in a way I would never forget! Something changed in me that night.

Was that the gift of the Holy Spirit shining within me that I thought was not there?

Had the Holy Spirit really been in me all along?

Something began working within me. Something was touching my heart, softening it so that one day I would finally come to Him fully. It was the dive into the deep end kind of love, for a Father who accepted my brokenness. Promising me a life I thrived for and dreamed of.

But first, He was going to bring me through a few more valleys and over some pretty high mountains. What a journey!

Completing day two of the challenge took me longer than expected. Taking me back to where it all began, used to be difficult until I saw His direction with it.

For October, I'm participating in Kate's 31 Days of Five-Minute Free Writes. I will be sharing our journey through life, one day at a time using the prompts provided.