31-Days of Five-Minute Free Writes Challenge ~ Scared

The word prompt for day eleven of the 31-Days of Five-Minute Free Writes...Scared.

"GO..." 

Even the word for today scared me!

Some words come easy to write about. Some take me back to where my journey with Jesus began, Some take me back to a time I was scared to death. So, of course, it would be challenging to write about it. 

It's scary when something happens, especially as a child, you have no idea how to deal with it or make it go away. I was so young and did what any child would do, sought out comfort. Only the adults she would turn to didn't believe her. They would tell her she didn't know what she was talking about, didn't feel what she had, or seen that the touching wasn't inappropriate. You're over-reacting and not to speak of it again. 

After a few years, actions like that were becoming a usual way of life. Everything began to feel like a lie, even what I was taught about Jesus.

I began to rebel. 

Everything I had felt during a time I loved worshipping Him as an innocent young child was taken away by the power of Satan. At one point, he even said, "The devil made me do it!" Seriously!

Instead of feeling God's love like I used to during those years, this devil twisted everything around. And it scared me to know I would never be able to trust my earthly father ever again!

As long as I can remember, prayers were always being said daily by my mother. While in her bedroom, she would read the Bible and spend time with God. I often wondered what she was saying to Him.

Until I became a mother, did I truly understand the power of a mother's love? She was protecting us in the only way she knew how. Her faith would someday become my first stepping stone toward the life I have today.

I realized it scared me more not to have God's love flow through me...

"STOP!"

...and I remained silent long enough.

It took years for me to be able to open up about that time. I soon felt the gift of the Holy Spirit I had received as a teen, and it was still inside me, and it began shinning again. 

The journey continues... 

For October, I'm participating in Kate's 31 Days of Five-Minute Free Writes. I will be sharing our journey through life, one day at a time using the prompts provided.