Psalm 139 English Standard Version (ESV)

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

If you know me, you know I LOVE to search!

So here I GO...

Nowadays, if you want to search for something, all you have to do is google it.

That wasn't the case back when I was raising kids, or even when I was a kid.

I was lucky my mom kept an updated encyclopedia.

Most anything I needed to know, I could search through those books for.

I don't remember exactly when I got a library card, but I do remember riding my bike to the library often. Many books were read, and book reports were written there. What wasn't in the encyclopedias at home, I could search for it at the library.

My bike was also my way of searching for what my heart was needing back then. I rode that bike everywhere! I wonder if my parents knew how far I would go. Calistoga was about 25 miles away and would take me probably 2-3 hours each way. Back then there were no bike paths. Sometimes I would only go to Vintage 1870, in Yountville. It was only 6 miles. Later, while in 4-H, I even joined a bike club.

That bike also took me to Bible Studies at other churches as well. I now wonder what those ministers, or pastors, or ladies working the groups thought. One thing they never did, was not welcome me. Did they know what I was searching for?

Did they see something in me, that I didn't know at the time?

Once the kids came, the library was a second home.

How do I... was always what I searched for, while the kids picked out their favorite books. I even worked in the school library one day a week.

All those searches, have led us to here...

Times up!

I could continue, but that would be breaking the rules.

I found two verses that spoke out to me when I searched the Bible.

Matthew 18:11-13 English Standard Version (ESV)

12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.

Romans 8:26-28 English Standard Version (ESV)

26 Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because[a] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[b] for those who are called according to his purpose.

There was no rejoicing when I was found! I learned there were consequences to my wandering. Each time God reached out to me when I was searching, something on earth pulled me away. As a young girl, that was confusing. By my teens, I began going in a direction where I didn't see God.

I stopped searching and began to settle.

I now know, He was watching me every step of it.

This post is part of the 31-Day of Five Minute Free Writes challenge link-up.