Our lab of 9 years has gone to heaven. Somehow she got out the gate. She knew how to open it if it wasn't latched all the way. All we can think is she figured out how to jimmie the latch as we know we always make sure it clicks when we come and go through it.
I didn't know what was going on this morning. I woke and hubby was not in the house. Just a few minutes later, I heard his truck, but thought he was just getting it ready for work. Then I heard his cries. My man rarely cries and had no idea if he got a phone call while outside. That is when he hugged me, crying Maybell had been hit by a car. I collapsed in his arms. I just felt numb and overcome with grief. He said he had a feeling something wasn't right when he woke up and she was not on his side of the bed. She is always there. He showered, got dressed and still didn't see her. He then went out to look for her and found her, I don't know exactly where, and not sure I want to. He said she wasn't mangled if I wanted to see her, but again declined. It was hard enough knowing she was gone. It was hard enough seeing my mother in a coffin, I didn't really need to see her laying there either. Thank God we took many pictures of her life with us. That is how I will remember her.
Now I must go through all the stages of greiving...
1. Denial – Refusing to believe what has happened, feeling shocked.
This can’t be happening.
2. Anger – Accusing others, such as a supreme being or friends, for what has occurred.
How dare you, God, let this happen! You knew how much she was loved. I am so MAD, that I didn't wake up to the gate noise.
3. Bargaining – Asking God to “cut a deal".
Can she just be unconscience? God, was she to suffer something else later and You spared her and us that pain?
4. Depression – Experiencing listlessness or exhaustion combined with feelings of helplessness, guilt and lack of interest in life.
I just can't stop crying. My dogs are like my children. I can see that the other dogs are sad. They don't know where she is.
5. Acceptance – Facing the loss and moving on, returning to setting goals in your life and focusing your energy more positively.
This will be a while. My one son said he would find me another Lab. We did briefly say something to that effect when trying to counsol each other, but it is going to be hard to replace such a loyal dog. I will have Faith that God will guide as as he always does.
For now, I will let out all the cries I can for when my grandson get home from visiting his dad, I must be strong. Those two played all the time. Where ever Bug went in the yard, Maybell was right there. They would play in the water, swim together in the pool, and play ball and tug of war. She was GREAT with all the kids, but Bug and her were unseperable.
My heart just aches today...we are all so, so, sad!