I wish I could share with you all the roller coaster ride my life is experiencing, but it doesn't just include me. Please understand that I must respect the privacy of other's. I have a great support system, with God at the helm (I can't imagine going through anything without Him), and with Him, prayer and the love our family has, nothing is impossible.
Some day's just get the best of me, and I know I am not the Lone Ranger!
I would like nothing more then to fix everything, but realize it is NOT for me to fix. I am not sure how long God plans to keep me here doing his work, but I am sure of the work he expects from me while I'm here.
Remember that story I posted, it's like that. God has given me a job, to be a parent, to be a grandmother, to be a wife, to be a friend, but he did not ask me to do what other's can't do for themselves. In the parent hat, we don't want our children, even as adults, to fall down, but they do. We did, I'm sure our parents did, as did theirs. Each fall brings lessons we would not have learned had we not fallen. That doesn't mean they need to hit bottom before the climb back up. Giving them a ladder, a hammer, or even a needle to repair it, is more helpful then fixing it myself. They learn what God intended for them to learn, grow from how they fixed it, and move on up developing skills of their own, to someday pass on to their children.
My health contributes to the scenario, makes it hard for me to keep up at times. It never fails, after any outing, I am wiped out, the legs twitch, the tumors pulse, and the pain needs managed. I am not one to eat lots of mediction, just the minimum to give relief. Add this to the above and it can cause a small Pity Party like yesterday. Before GOD, before blogging, before therapy, before doctor's I tried to carry it all myself. Somedays the old creeps up until I remind myself of what God expects from me. Like I said last night, He has His ways and I am so thankful He is in charge.
The other thing on my plate is we lost our parents during the Holidays, my MIL, November 22, 2001 (which was Thanksgiving Day that year), my FIL December 9, 2002 (tomorrow) and my mom began her journey December 14, 2001, with God calling her up January 5, 2002, all from cancer. Even though it has now been 7-8 years, it is not unusual for me to be missing them druing these days. All three of them were very special to us and contributed greatly to our life.
So today I will be working on our Our Angel Tree. It began in 2003 after the loss of our 3 parents. Actually it was growing during the 3 to5 years they battled the cancer. Each year they received Angel ornament's from family and friends for their tree's. It began as a memorial that first year without them, and continues to grow each year. Below this tree, but not all pictured, are many of the holiday photos with them. I have pictures of that very first tree and the ones from 2003, 2004 and 2005, but my scanner isn't working. It was always done similar to the one for...
We changed the location and bought a new tree.
Usually it is up by now, but God knows and He will guide me today to accomplish this. When I am finished I will post this years tree. While you all say your prayer's today, can I ask to be included, to find the strength today to take on the task at hand and that my family receives His direction as well. I am determined to rise above all that is weighing on me, but could use, just a bit of help.