Saturday, January 5, 2008

I Made It!

The holidays have always been my favorite time of the year since becoming a parent.

As a child I was always excited, loved making decorations for my mom, but come Christmas morning, rarely did Santa leave what I asked for, leaving me disappointed and reprimended for my behavior. I learned not to expect much but be happy for what I did get but those childhood dreams didn't stop. Don't get me wrong, my mom tried her best to make our holidays as special as possible. However, a child doesn't see it that way until they are an adult and can understand.

I promised myself, when I had children, they will never experience or feel how I felt. I went over and beyond my expectations to be sure they always had the best Christmas from year to year. Hubby and I were not rich with money but the love we shared made us feel rich. I could turn a rag into riches, which became our way of making what little we had look like a million.

Soon our children where the same age when one realizes that parents were Santa and there really wasn't super heroes and it broke my heart.

Christmas changed for a few years because of their growth, and then the deaths of their grandparents. As the grandchildren came into our life, each year I tried harder to regain that spark of magic. In pictures, it looks like a million, but my heart was so torn. Memories of those we lost, missed, tend to bog one down. Each year, learning new ways to overcome and make it the Holiday that my family deserves was my objective. Each year my heart is fulfilled by the love and joy of having them with us.

This year was no different in that way, but yet different in ways of other years. Our children have homes and families, and we are now a stop in there holiday plans. It is still our job to continue passing on those family traditions, but it is now their turn to begin ones of their own as well. To participate and watch them build theirs our hearts were again fulfilled by their happiness. To watch the glow in the grandchildren as we once watched in our children was the highlight of each event.

Someday they will know it was grandpa that night and it will be our children's turn to feel the changes of Christmas. They will learn that one thing will never change, THE MEANING!

This year it all came back and my daughter gave it in a gift she had no idea she had given. Somehow I will figure out how to get it attached but if I don't, go to...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXCXG7MZp48

Though the reason for the season revolves around Jesus, many get lost in the ribbons and bows. I love giving many gifts but it has always been in His name, from my heart. I see our tradition of gift giving as celebration for the birth of Jesus. It is the one birthday a year, where He allows us to give the gifts for His celebration and honor. All he wants from us is our hearts and he has had it from the start.

So, I made it this year, back to where I am suppose to be and no more, but definately no less. I loved the Holidays once again.

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